The good news is however bad things look now, you will get over the person you had feelings for. Unfortunately, you can’t skip straight to the where things have become with a new man without grieving your loss first. Bottling up your feelings will only delay your recovery. This is your perfect excuse to spend days under the duvet, stuffing your face with chocolate and crying at rom-coms – it’s not all bad!
Keep it To Yourself
Repeatedly sending abusive, needy or even begging emails probably won’t do much to make a difference in this situation. More than likely your attempts at outreach are going to be ignored, and at the very worst you may even get piece of their mind. But honestly, writing is often a great way to release any pent-up feelings that you had hanging out there. Try keeping a journal of how you feel and write an imaginary email to explain how you feel. Then delete the message!
Make the Break Up a Clean One
Unless you’re one of those couples who break up and make up every week, the chances are you have broken up for good reason. Even if you think that you are destined to be together further down the line, focusing on this idea will only hold up the healing process. If it is too hard to let go, it’s time to go cold turkey and just cease all contact. In short order you’ll realize that life goes on without them.
Cleaning up your house might sound like the last thing you feel like doing but you’ll be surprised what an uplifting effect cleaning can have. Now is the time for you to clear out the old relationship and make way for the new. Get rid of any reminders of them, sweep away the cobwebs then make the most of the clean space to make things look how you want.
Get Some Exercise
Like it or not, a good workout will help your healing heart from your on so many levels. As an example, exercise will:
- Give you a new focus
- Distract you from thoughts of the target of your affection
- Allow your body to release endorphins
- Build your confidence from a new look
Make it your goal to do at least 30 mins of exercise daily that gets you hot and slightly out of breath.
If you’re the one who’s been dumped you feel worthless and unattractive, if you’re the one who’s done the dumping you feel like a prize cow. Either way, you need a crash course in confidence. Ask your three closest friends to email you a list of the reasons they love you, make a list from their responses and pin it somewhere you will see hard evidence of your fabulousness every day.
Start a New Project
When you’re used to operating as one half of a team life can feel pretty daunting and aimless without someone else to focus on. Try to take up a new activity or revive an old one. Try some activities that give you a purpose and boost your social circle. Certain activities that have been known to work in a breakup are:
- Join a gym
- Join a recreational sports club
- Start a book club
- Start a film club
- Learn how to crochet!
Enjoy This Time by Yourself
While it’s essential to keep busy, spend time with those who care and introduce yourself to new people, it’s also important to indulge in some ‘me’ time. When you burn the candle at both ends, you will begin to have tiredness take over. And when you get tired, it’s easy to have those old emotions show up, those pesky emotions like
- Even anger
Now it’s key to take some time to reflect and learn from what’s happened to help you in future relationships you may have. Life does go on, and you will recover. Give yourself the time.
You Will Get Over Those Old Feelings
Remember the age old saying that “time will heal all wounds”? Well the saying does carry a bit of truth. With time, a bit of new activities, and even finding a new someone in your life will take things away and you will get over that old love.